Do You Make These Mistakes in English?

Commentary, drivel

Poor grammar not only makes you look stupid—it can get in the way of your career!

Even highly intelligent people with a lot of “horse sense” get mistaken for Big Dummies when they say things like this:

“Between you and I, Aunt Fanny’s gotten a lot more fatter since last picnic.”

“I am quite adversed to money matters and business, in fact I’m quite financial indeed.”

“I never seen a girl get ruined by a book.”

“All my children are real eager to rake the yard every Fall, but somehow Sally always gets less leaves than Bob and Sue.”

Chances are—you’ve said things just like this, every day, and had no idea people were laughing at you behind your back!

But there’s no need any more for your bad language skills to hold you back. In just 30 days I can teach how to talk like a college professor.

Of course I mean a college professor in the old days, when that was a job that meant something, and not just a hideout for freaks and mutants! The old professors were the best.

So let me be your old professor! Send just $10.99 in cash or money order (no stamps, please) to:

Professor John’s E-Z Grammar Institute
4046 South Michigan Avenue
Department GN
Chicago 21, Illinois


Author: Hallen Smith

Hallen Smith is a much beloved humorist, financial writer, and newspaper columnist. He specializes in such trivialities as Christmas newsletters and Philadelphia soft pretzels.