DRIVEL

Articles that our editorial staff considers utter nonsense.

Ask the Family Doctor: Is It Healthy When Youngster Wants to Run Away from Home?

with Ferenc Molmar, M.D. Q. My 15-year-old has suddenly become very excited about running away from home. I discovered this when I went into the youngster’s bedroom and found a large polka-dot kerchief, all knotted up with underwear inside, and tied to the business end of my Cleveland Niblick. I think this is a fad […]

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The Button-Down Mind of DAN HOWLAND (1994)

Dan Howland disappeared from San Diego sometime in the late 90s and reappeared in Portland, OR, where he is said to have authored an amusement-ride quarterly journal. This classic is reproduced as it originally appeared in Gallery News in 1994…as it is an image and we are not about to type it in. A friend […]

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Museums for the Demented

In the never-ending search for some socially redeeming purpose in “art”—I don’t mean actual creations in sculpture, portraiture, illustration, music, etc.; but layabout-supporting grants and foundations—someone in England has decided the art thing might be good for dementia. From Museum Next: In recent years, museums have trialled [sic] and tested a broad range of initiatives […]

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Is Dog Food Bad for Children?

ASK THE DOCTOR with Ferenc Molmar, MD Q. Dear Dr. Molmar, We have neighbors who often punish or discipline their children by chaining them up in a dark basement with dishes of dog food and water. It’s canned dog food, I believe, though sometimes they also get kibble. I’ve heard of old people taking a […]

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Ask the Family Doctor: Race and Sex in Disposable Diapers

with Ferenc Molmar, MD Q. Dear Dr. Molmar, I have a little adoptive baby who you might say has a “touch of the tarbrush.” According to rumor his grandmother was part-Filipino, or Filipina, you might say. This creates a dilemma when it comes to shopping for disposable diapers at the supermarket. You see, they have Pampers and […]

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Red Bull Gallery Gets Its Wings! (It’s outta there!)

Red Bull Arts will close its West 18th Street location, bringing an end to a six-year run of mounting cutting-edge exhibitions that included key surveys devoted to Rammellzee, Gretchen Bender, and more. A representative for the art space, which is owned by the energy drink company Red Bull, said that the physical location’s last outing was Akeem Smith […]

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Antisocial: Vindictive Fun!

Interesting review here of Antisocial by Andrew Marantz. Surely one of the vicious books of the season. So now Andrew Marantz tacked to a new course, and homed in on an irresistibly rancid subject: the viral meme as the seducer and assassin of youth. In Antisocial, he illustrates this notion through two extended case studies. One of […]

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Ask the Family Doctor: Starving the Obese Child

with Ferenc Molmar, MD Q. My eldest child, now 11, tips the scales at over 240 lbs and is only 4’9″. Actually that is an estimate, because our bathroom scale stops at 240. At the county fair they have livestock scales that go much higher but the fair doesn’t open till June. I’m wondering how I can get […]

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Do You Make These Mistakes in English?

Poor grammar not only makes you look stupid—it can get in the way of your career! Even highly intelligent people with a lot of “horse sense” get mistaken for Big Dummies when they say things like this: “Between you and I, Aunt Fanny’s gotten a lot more fatter since last picnic.” “I am quite adversed […]

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Liz Smith Is Dead at 94

Liz Smith, veteran Broadway and theatre columnist, died yesterday of a drug overdose. She was 94. Frank Sinatra once famously called her a “two-dollar whore” while shoving a pair of greenbacks into Liz Smith’s old-fashioned glass. But others had favorable memories of the legendary gossip scribe. An old friend, actor Richard Gere, described her thusly: […]

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Ask the Family Doctor: Can I Give Fish Antibiotics to My Children?

with Ferenc Molmar, MD I am often asked whether it safe and proper for human beings to ingest antibiotics designed for tropical fish. There are two issues to address here. One is that antibiotics for fish have generally been tested on fish, but not on humans. Therefore, although the the chemical structure of the drug […]

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Ask the Family Doctor: Lepers and Toxoplasmosis

with Ferenc Molmar, MD Q. Our adopted child from a far-off country has been diagnosed with leprosy. The child is under treatment and the condition appears to be stable. However, a clerical employee in our pediatrician’s offices seems to be a bit of a gossip and told a neighbor from my garden club about our child’s […]

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Ask the Family Doctor: Taming the Bed-Wetters

with Ferenc Molmar, MD Q. My youngest child, now 13, still wets his bed and I would like to cure him before he goes off to boarding school. I remember many years ago when you used to appear on the old Today Show with Jack Lescoulie and you demonstrated a sort of harness that could […]

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Ask the Family Doctor

with Ferenc Molmar, MD Q. My 5-year-old son has a very large purple cyst in the middle of his forehead. It does not interfere with his activities, but it looks a sight and makes people not notice what a handsome child he is. Lately he has begun to pick at it, and I think its […]

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Crime and Punishment at the Art Students League

(Originally published June 29, 2014) Odd doings at the Voorhees-Rohr Mansion! Our very own Mr. Ian Stuart Dowdy of the Art Students League likes to tell the tale of how he was responsible for the death of an old lady he was supposed to be taking care of. Old Mrs. Voorhees-Rohr was often bedridden with […]

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